Sundays are Stressful

Does anyone else have an intense dislike of Sundays? Am I alone in this?

Here I am...Sunday morning at 9 am, and I'm already filled with anxiety and I'm tumbling down the stress spiral. I've made so much progress in dealing with my anxiety, but this old, thick, harden wire in my brain, Sundays = Stress, still remains. 

Why? I don't know. My therapist and I are trying to sort it out. 

I feel like I have too much to do today. I'm angry and sad that I don't have time to relax. I'm afraid I won't get everything done today. I feel like I don't have time during the week, so I have to do it now.

I know it is not a fear of Mondays- or at least not one I recognize- I love my job. I work with great people, and my job is only occasionally stressful. I've also had my hatred of Sundays long before my present job.

It might be a transition issue. Transitions are a common obstacle in feeling safe and secure, and I struggle with them too. Transitioning from the weekend to the week is a fairly big transition.

It might be my unreasonable expectations. I'm probably attempting to accomplish too much on Sundays. 

It might be my introverted personality. While I enjoy my job and my co-workers, I would still rather be in the safety of my own home. Away from people. Away from interruptions to my routine. 

Steps I am taking: 

• Acknowledgement- Sunday stress is a problem. I don't want to deal with it anymore. I want to enjoy my Sundays, and I currently do not.
• Self-Awareness- I'm paying attention to when the anxiety is showing up. I'm feeling it and showing compassion for it. I'm observing it (the first step in science!).
• Bullet Journal- I often ignore my Bujo on the weekend. I'm trying to use it more as it provides me comfort.

Do you struggle with anxiety or stress, or something else, on Sundays? Advice? You can comment below, or you can fill out the contact form in the sidebar if you don't want to share publically.

My Struggles with Time

I have all kinds of issues with time such as how fleeting life is and how songs or movies that deal with that issue make me cry.

The issue that is most in the forefront of my life is time management and prioritization. I do feel like I have made great progress in this arena, but I still have a long way to go. It's so challenging to make my desires, my expectations, my obligations and my time all align properly. We'd like to try to have a human child soon (I've already started a family, tyvm), and I cannot fathom how I would fit a child into my life.  

I've recently come to the realization that I might being doing a poor job of making time for relaxation and downtime. I have unreasonable expectations of what I can and should accomplish, and I need to prioritize fun. Given that I hold fun as one of my top values, and how I'm dealing with anxiety and depression this is both distressing and makes a great deal of sense. 

By not making time for fun, I'm not living within my value system and I'm not being authentic. I've been letting one of my strongest personality traits (and one that gives me great pride), responsibility, rule my entire schedule. 

However, ignoring this important and valuable characteristic would be foolish. Instead, I need to use my inherent responsible nature to help me get more fun and relaxation into my life. Time to decompress from an exhausting week is a critical component of self-care and actually, rather unproductive. If I'm less stressed and well-rested, I'm guaranteed to have a more productive week, right? So, in fact, it is IRRESPONSIBLE for me to ignore relaxation! 

This is why I've started trying to treat time for relaxation as an important to-do task on my list. It is not a bonus task to be done when I have time. It is a highly necessary task.

To that end, today I have some game time scheduled from 9:30am to 10:30am, and I also have a TV show task this evening. Hopefully, this works!

Blog Refresh

Howdy!

Over the past couple years I have made some substantial changes in my life, most related to self care, wellness and mental health.

A couple of years ago, I was dealing with anxiety and depression, which had actually manifested itself physically and was impacting my heart (scary!). At the time, I didn't think my issues were as severe as they were, nor did I appreciate the effect they were having on my physical health. At my primary care physician's insistence I began to put my effort towards improving my mental well being. At first, it was hard. I didn't have enough energy and motivation to make all the necessary changes immediately. But the baby steps I started with snowballed into big changes in the way I think and view life.

I feel amazing. I'm still working hard towards improving my well being, but I'm proud of what I've accomplished so far. I'm more organized, relaxed, confident and happy. Most importantly, I'm able to recover from negative events much quicker. I don't get stuck in a stress response (a funk) like I used to.

A few times now, my wellness coaches and providers (I've assembled a small team, as I took advantage of all the resources available to me. I'm only a lab tech, so my pay is pretty low. There are a wealth of affordable resources out there if you look!), have suggested that I share my enthusiasm and passion for wellness and self care. Not only as a way to help others, but also to help me maintain that motivation. I've been told my strengths lie with how I go about my changes mindfully and with intention. 

Well, I'm super excited because I've decided to take their advice, and share what has worked for me here on my blog. I value personal growth, learning, teaching and mentoring. This is the perfect space to do just that. I would LOVE feedback. Let me know what topics you are interested in. I want to explore new areas of self care and wellness with you, not just talk about that I did. You are encouraged to contact me to share what had worked for you, your story and what you struggle with. You can get a hold of me on Twitter @crazycatnerd.